Poor Connor

This article is from www.theonion.com

This is WHY we homeschool. To keep our children out of the dreaded institution a little longer.

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CARPENTERSVILLE, IL—Local first-grader Connor Bolduc, 6, experienced the first inkling of a coming lifetime of existential dread Monday upon recognizing his cruel destiny to participate in compulsory education for the better part of the next two decades, sources reported.

"I don't want to go to school," Bolduc told his parents, the crushing reality of his situation having yet to fully dawn on his naïve consciousness. "I want to play outside with my friends."

While Bolduc stood waiting for the bus to pick him up on his first day of elementary school, his parents reportedly were able to "see the wheels turning in his little brain" as the child, for the first time in his life, began to understand how dire and hopeless his situation had actually become.

Basic math—which the child has blissfully yet to learn—clearly demonstrates that the number of years before he will be released from the horrifying prison of formal schooling, is more than twice the length of time he has yet existed. According to a conservative estimate of six hours of school five days a week for nine months of the year, Bolduc faces an estimated 14,400 hours trapped in an endless succession of nearly identical, suffocating classrooms.

This nightmarish but undeniably real scenario does not take into account additional time spent on homework, extracurricular responsibilities, or college, sources said.

"I can't wait until school is over," said the 3-foot-tall tragic figure, who would not have been able, if asked, to contemplate the amount of time between now and summer, let alone the years and years of tedium to follow.

The concept of wasting a majority of daylight hours sitting still in a classroom when he could be riding his bicycle, playing in his tree fort, or lying in the grass looking at bugs—especially considering that he had already wasted two years of his life attending preschool and kindergarten—seemed impossibly unfair to Bolduc. Moreover, sources said, he had no idea how much worse the inescapable truth will turn out to be.

Shortly after his mommy, homemaker Ellen Bolduc, 31, assured him that he would be able to resume playtime "when school lets out," Connor's innocent brain only then began to work out the implication of that sentence to its inevitable, soul-crushing conclusion.

When pressed for more detail on the exact timing of that event, Mrs. Bolduc would only reply "soon." At that point, the normally energetic child grew quiet before asking a follow-up question, "After [younger sister] Maddy's birthday?" thereby setting the stage for the first of thousands of rushing realizations he will be forced to come to grips with over the course of his subsequent existence.

Madison Ellen Bolduc was born on Sept. 28.

After learning that the first grade will continue for eight excruciating months beyond that date, it was only a matter of time before Bolduc inquired into what grade comes after first grade, and, when told, would probe further into how many grades he will have to complete before allowed to play with his friends.

The answer to that fatal question—12, a number too large for Bolduc to count on the fingers of both hands—will be enough to nearly shatter the boy's still-forming psyche, said child psychology expert Eli Wasserbaum.

"When you consider that it doesn't include another four years of secondary education, plus five more years of medical school, if he wants to follow his previously stated goal to grow up to be a doctor like his daddy, this will come as an interminably deep chasm of drudgery and imprisonment to [Connor]," said Wasserbaum. "It's difficult to know the effect on his psychological well-being when he grasps the full truth: that his education will be followed by approximately four decades of work, bills, and taxes, during which he will also rear his own children to face the same fate, all of which will, of course, be followed by a brief, almost inconsequential retirement, and his inevitable death."

"Even a 50-year-old adult would have trouble processing such a monstrous notion," Wasserbaum added. "Oh my God, I'm 50 years old."

The first of Bolduc's remaining 2,299 days of school will resume at 8 a.m. tomorrow. On the next 624 Sundays, he will also be forced to attend church.

We weeble and wobble, but we don't fall down!

Life has it's way of making you weeble and wobble. Like today, day 2 in homeschool experiment 6560 (I am making up the number, FYI for the gullible types).

The morning started rough. Not too rough, but a little shaky. I tried to spice up the skip counting and it turned into a disaster. Jonah and Zane began to write on their chalk boards, ok DOODLE, as I spoke. I said stop and Jonah kept on. I finally took it off his desk as he tried desperately put the finishing touches on his artwork. I took a deep breath. Zane threw the wiping off rag and it hit the candle flame and it luckily went out. I lit the candle again and told him not to do that. This was the morning. James took ALL day to complete work that would take 2 hours MAX.
I finally told him we needed to leave at 3pm to go buy chicken feed for our chickens. He spent an hour at least talking to Nimai, polishing his dads bee yard boots (you know the girls really like shiny black boots when they are being smoked and their honey robbed). He took nine days to eat his 1/2 cup of beans with his chips and sour cream. He took another 6 days to destroy the computer room to look for a CD I told him was in the cabinet 4 times. Oh yes, it was fun! Jonah did not want to write anything, wanted to cry. I was not falling for that trick.

Ahhhhhhhh..................deep breath, deep breath.

See I still have all my hair and most of my mind! All is well :)

And we're off...........................

Today we officially started school. It was shaky. It was weird. It was scary. It was surprisingly laid back and calm. James said as we pulled the desks to the middle of the room, "We are being homeschooled again, Boys, strange, it feels like Christmas."

Oh, that warmed my heart and I ran to Sam's side and whispered, "Did you hear what James said?" He smile a gentle grin and nodded a yes.

We began with the lighting of the candle. We said our verse, we recited 2 lines of a poem we are going to learn over the next 8 weeks. We did some skip counting, and I sang On Top of Old Smokey. In time they will learn it word for word and sing along. Once the poem and song are complete then we will move on to a new one.

Sam took James upstairs after this and worked on Geometry. I stayed with Jonah and Zane and we worked on Form Drawing Lesson 1. Good thing I sometimes have flashes of brilliance, because I sure needed it today! When you teach Form Drawing in the Waldorf method you need a story to bring you into the lesson that is about the lesson. Lesson 1 is straight and curved lines. I sat there for about 2 seconds as I was scrambling around in my brain thinking up a story. I started asking Jonah questions right off the bat to stall. Then it came to me in about 1 minute into the stalling routine.

Ivy and Charlie were walking in the forest looking at all that Nature had provided when along came an old woman and asked what they were doing there........this is where you bring in an old lady voice and find a voice for Ivy and Charlie............Ivy told the old woman how they were looking at the shapes in the woods. The woman asked what shapes, she only saw trees, flowers, grass, and beasts. Ivy explained how everywhere you look there are shapes and ALL shapes use either straight or curved lines. Then I pulled the little chalkboard close to me and began to draw a tree, a bird, blades of grass, and flowers. I explained to the old woman that the grass can be curved or straight, the trunk of the tree was straight, but the branches were curved. On and on I went until we ended with writing the names of our story helpers, Ivy and Charlie and talked about how Ivy had all straight lines and Charlie had a mix of both. We went outside and moved our bodies in straight and curved movements. We talked about the things we saw with those lines, and then came inside to draw them on their personal desk chalkboards I made for them this week. James finished his geometry and went outside to work around the yard while I finished up with the other two, then I worked with Jonah and read him his Fable and then read Zane his Fairy Tale. I finally got around to read James his Roman material. Some time later I helped James with Math. He finished the rest on his own; French, journal, spelling, and reading his book. I have a chart on the wall for him to keep track of each day. After it's completed (20 days worth) I make another and tweak it to what we are doing now.

It went smoothly for a day that I was clueless about and one Sam did not prepare himself for at all. He wants to help but falls asleep as I tell him what is on the agenda and procrastinates when it's time to do something. Oh well, he is willing to help with the morning opening and teach the geometry. This helps get James set in the right direction and shows the boys Dad is on board with what Mom is doing!

I am excited. It was even better later because we got home and our lesson books (blank books the kids make into textbooks themselves) had finally shown up. UPS "forgot" to put it on the truck Friday morning when it was suppose to be delivered, instead they brought Harry and David snacks sent by someone Sam works with. The kids enjoyed the junk food at least.

We still had the chicks to tend to, and the rest of life. It was a full day. Now I must prepare for tomorrow. Jonah's fable was about a Stag, I just found another one about a Stag. Tomorrow we learn how to draw a Stag after our review and do more reading. Should be interesting and fun!

Tootles...............until next time.

Getting started

We received our package of curriculum this Friday. I have been looking through it and examining it very carefully. I am in need of more time to examine it. Being that I have never Waldorf homeschooled and it is intensely different than traditional schooling.

We have been busy this week. Sam and I took Jonah and Zane to the lake on Memorial day to look at all the trash left behind from the weekend fishermen. It was not well taken, bugs, trash, and all. We left. We live close by, so it was a quick trip there and back. Tuesday we hung around the house, did much of nothing, made brownies for the following day, took care of the chickens. Wednesday we set out for the Waldorf enrichment class. The kids had a blast. It was more of a get to know each other day, but James had 3 of his old classmates there, so he already knew quite a few. Jonah told the teacher that he was colorblind and so was Zane and she had a concerned conversation with me. I think I will need to keep talking to her. She seems so bent on making sure they only paint with the colors they can "see". UGH! I told they can "see" just fine, they just take it in and process it differently. Some shades of red, blue, green, and such look differently. Like pink looks either white or blue, depending what shade it is. Light pink is white and hot pink is blue. Anyhow, that was that discovery, someone thinking they need to "fix" my colorblind children. The nerve! Ignorance, I have found, can be found in the most unlikely places.

Thursday we hung out at home until time to go to the Cub Scout meeting at the public school. We signed up the younger two and James is in Boy Scouts. Taken care of! Now they are all going to be busy!

Friday we arrived late to Lego group. James and his hair was holding up the show again. I have decided to withhold $1 allowance to the person(s) responsible for us being late to something because they did not manage their time correctly. He was told to wake up in plenty of time and he did not get up, so he was late doing everything.

Saturday we went to a tiny, almost not worth mentioning it, Cajun festival. James ate a huge bowl of crawfish. I cannot eat those things. I have not been able to eat them since I lived in Jacksonville, Fl and went to their HUGE crawfish festival. EW! But he LOVED it! He LOVES Cajun food. I never liked Cajun food at 12, loved the music though. We did some shopping and then left. We stopped by the local church to look at their mini-car show. It was maybe 5 cars. There were some beauties though. The boys yelled for me to stop when they saw the Hudson.
They jumped out, looked around then jumped back in the car, all within 5 minutes. We came home and hung out for a bit before heading to the Hare Krishna program.

We finally got home at 11pm! I was so tired. The kids just flopped right into bed. No one argued.

This morning I woke up with a rip roaring sore throat and achy body. My dad would say it was from being in the rain. I would say it was because I was living with a 6 year old all week with a sore throat! We set the chickens out of the brooder for some sunshine and natural foods to eat.

That was our mundane week. It will get spicier. We will begin school very soon. I have supplies to buy now that I have the list.

Time to read more about what to do.

TTFN

What is going on these days......

I have not written about homeschooling for a long time. In fact yesterday I decided I would, it had been 2 years since I had. I deleted al but my favorite story, the marriage. We decided to send the kids to a local Waldorf school. It was not perfect, and things happened and we left. We are back to homeschooling, but this time around we are going with the Waldorf approach. It worked for my kids. They really enjoyed how they were learning, stress free and with creativity. Since I have been an on again off again homeschooler for 6 years and I am an artist, I thought I could pull this Waldorf gig off. We are not totally Waldorf either, this makes us unlike many of those people doing Waldorf schools/curriculum.

We have not officially started school this school year, granted it is Labor Day and all the schools around us have started, we have not. We are currently waiting for our Live-Education Waldorf curriculum. We ordered just before the holiday. I will get it at the end of this week, I am sure. I also have decided I will read it all over and take a week to digest it for myself first. not jump into as soon as the box arrives.

Unofficially we began a few weeks ago. We received in the mail a huge box of dead animal specimens to dissect with kit. The kids are loving it. We have dissected an earth worm and a crawdad. Next we have grasshoppers, 2 of them in fact and I think one is male and one female. Should prove to be interesting.

We have been listening to lots of books on tape as we travel about. I will begin to jot those down for record on here. I have decided I will keep a running homeschool journal/blog for my record keeping for the state. They never check these things, but if they ever decide to, like a mean relative turns you in for not teaching them properly, they can come check. I figure I will keep it here. I can email the link, Ha!

We also received via snail mail baby chicks. We are raising meat chicks. This Wednesday it will be 1 full week we have had them. They ship them the day they hatch. We have seen many changes and I will leave details about that. The kids are to come out there and help do something everyday. Water, feed, clean brooder, lay down new paper, etc....

They are having Science.

We begin this week a Waldorf enrichment program with another Waldorf school an hour away from us. The one 20 minutes away has no such program for homeschoolers. We are thrilled to be able to have such a class. It will be all day and the kids will learn Spanish, knitting, drama, art (Waldorf method) and many other things. I will have a day off once a week. WOW!

I am looking into French lessons with Jean-Claude and perhaps French Club with Alain for 2 of my boys. We are already involved in First Lego League; robotics, math, and science club all rolled into one.

We have Boy Scouts and Cub Scouts. We should be busy enough to not worry about being bored.
In fact I am trying to figure out when I can take a class on quilting with their schedule. Hmmmm....

Anyhow, this will be what the blog is about. What they read, what I read, what I taught, and what they/we have done.

I want to write a little bit each day, but I think that is overly ambitious and not realistic, I am going to reach for every other day, perhaps less or more, but at least once a week to make sure I have it all noted for my records.

Until my next post.................